LILPINAY
CAMS ALUMNI.
CAL POLY POMONA.
ZETA SIS FALL2K10.
WINTERFRESH FAM.
SHY.
SHORT.
LOUD.
CRAZY.
WEIRD.
BUT LOVABLE.
It’s past 1 in the morning and I’m supposed to be sleeping. I have work at 6:30 in the morning for goodness sakes and I am not a morning person but I can’t sleep. I close my eyes and my heart starts beating fast…I get a mini panic attack…then I feel the tears coming. It’s gonna be another sleepless night where I cry myself to sleep. Every time I close my eyes all the nightmares become so real. The tiny voice in my head telling me I’m not good enough, that all I’ll ever be is a disappointment, that all I’ll be able to do in life is disappoint people becomes louder and louder and in a span of a few minutes it’s taken over completely thus not allowing me to sleep. I’m tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. I’m tired of being a disappointment, of always disappointing others. God, I’m weak.
The one thing I do best in life is make others mad or sad at me. I can’t do anything right. 21 years and you’d think I’d find a way to make those around me happy…yet I still disappoint them…not one positive encouragement. Even with some positive words there will always be something negative right after. The negatives seem to outweigh the positive. God, I’m hopeless. Yet I can’t seem to do anything about it…why? why can’t I? Every time I try to I just end up failing…end up making a mistake…end up a disappointment once again. No matter how hard I try I just can’t seem to do anything right. I’m so tired of feeling. I’m tired of waking up in the morning and thinking ‘damn, I woke up today. I wish I could just sleep forever.’ D’you think it’d be better if I just stop feeling all together? No, I think I just need to stop being such a disappointment. I guess the best thing I can think of doing right now is to just comply to whatever people tell me to do…to act the way they want me to act…hide who I am and just be who they want me to be so I fit in…so I can make them happy. Does it matter if I just retreat into a shell? Does it matter if I just let people believe I’m happy? Look like I’m happy? It Probably doesn’t right? I mean what would be the difference…absolutely nothing. I guess that’s the best solution.
From now on…I’m gonna look happy. Does that even make sense?
Whatever, I’ve done it before so I can do it again. Look out world! Minette’s happy!
Come and Go.
One of the realities of life is that people come and go from it. At a young age, we already experience enough goodbyes that it begins to feel like ‘people leaving’ is not a question of if they will, but rather when they will. Out of the thousands of people we meet in our life time, chances are a lot of them become forgotten faces blended in with a crowd of strangers. But one of the saddest things we face is when that stranger was someone you once believed would be in your life forever.
These people you once called best friends, your boyfriend or girlfriend, and even family members somehow disappear from your life. And at this very moment, they are in the same world that you’re on, part of your history, but no where to be found in the present. I sometimes wonder what their life is like now. I wonder what it would be like if they were still part of my life. I question how someone I once was so close to could manage to vanish in my life as if they never existed.
But most of all, I wonder if they still think about me? I wonder if I managed to impact their lives like they impacted mine. Or have I become just another nameless face that has become forgotten It’s scary to me how there is someone out there that you could know so well and influenced your life so much but you have no communication with. People come and go from your life. Sometimes I just wonder where they ended up when they finally left.
(via iharlee)
what no stop
God dammit
(via fuckyeahverdajio)
on halloween this guy dressed up as aladdin and glued a carpet to his skaboard and made his way through the halls like this
I CAN SHOW YOU THE HAAAAAAAALL
SHINING SHIMMERING FLOORTILES
TELL ME STUDENTS
WHEN DID YOU LAST
LET YOUR HEARTS DECIDE
I CAN OPEN YOUR BOOKS
TAKE YOU CHAPTER BY CHAPTER
IN, BETWEEN CLASS AND AFTER
ON A MAGIC CARPET RIDE
A WHOLE NEW HAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL
A NEW FANTASTIC PLACE OF SCHOOL
TEACHERS WILL TELL US NO
AND WHERE TO GO
AND SAY WE’RE BEING SILLY
A WHOLE NEW HAAAAAALL
all of you
are
awesome
(via redericted)
NBA Playoffs throwback: Los Angeles Lakers vs. San Antonio Spurs, 2004, Western Conference semifinals.
One of the most incredible endings to a playoff game in NBA history. Kobe Bryant’s go-ahead shot is then answered by Tim Duncan’s fade away jumper that, if it had burned an extra .1 second, would have probably sealed the game for the Spurs. But it did not. Instead with .4 seconds left in the game, Derek Fisher’s prayer is answered.
A new chapter of an old rivalry begins in San Antonio on Sunday at 3:30pm EST on ABC.
(via hiitsmemarion)
